Where is he?
by notawordsmith
Summary: A turn up for the books, Mikey's the wise one, and teaches Leo a lesson he won't soon forget! A short fic full of brotherly fluff. When someone goes, are they ever really gone? One shot.


**Where is he?**

The mood in the lair had been terrible for days now, almost a week. It felt heavy, oppressive, the turtles all walked a little slower, shoulders a little more slouched, foot steps dragged and shuffled instead of proudly picked up.

All except for Michaelangelo, who still happily bounced and bopped and beamed his way through every, single day, like he always did.

This grated on Leonardo, who sat, as he always did, cross legged in the dojo, incense burning, trying to find the inner peace that so eluded him since Raphael had gone away.

A year Splinter said. No, scratch that, Leonardo thought as the soul settling peace dodged and dived away from him, teasing the corners of his mind. It was now ten months and three weeks precisely. Not that he was counting or anything.

It wasn't the only thing dodging and diving, teasing the corners of his mind.

"Will you please settle Mikey?" Leo sighed, his voice heavy with exasperation. "I'm trying to mediatate."

"Why?" was his innocent, wide eyed reply.

"Why?" Leo opened his hard, onyx eye to a slit, hoping his dangerous, cool, piercing glare would somehow nail his flighty brother to the spot, pinning him like a bug to a board.

"Yeah Fearless ... why?" was his stunted reply, bouncing happily from one foot to the other, staring idly off into space, beautiful blue eyes, beaming, shining his heart full of joy.

This seemed to infuriate the hapless leader, that his brother could still be so overjoyed, now the family bonds had been broken, now they were crippled. one less than needed, one less than wanted, one less, making the chain broken, the circle of their family not whole.

"Raphael's gone remember?" Leo tried to snarl, to use his usual commanding and demanding tone, but it turned into a soft, wistful whisper instead as he sighed, trying hard to hide the tears that welled in his eyes.

"He's not gone." Mikey told his brother with an unwavering belief, his face cracking into a overwhelming grin.

"What?" The stupidity of his littlest brother's statement caught him off guard, making his patience thin, making him snap and growl. But the pure innocence of the sea green turtle's dazzling blue eyes made him sigh again, and try a different tack. He chided himself for being so undisciplined, he knew full well he could never reason with Mikey like he did the others.

"Mikey, he's not here ... we can't see him anymore." The torturous fact made Leo's face fall just a little, his shoulders slump a little more heavily.

Mikey stopped his bouncing, picking up on the tiniest, tell tale signs, though his grin remained. "But we don't get to see him either when he's all smashed up in the infirmary, and Donnie says he needs his quiet. Or when he's holed up in his room and won't let anyone in, and you don't get upset those times do you?" he tilted his head, softly, like a confused pup, smiling small in thought. "Ok, maybe you DO get worried when he's all smashed up in the infirmary, but still ... you don't get upset because you can't see him, you know he's there."

Leo blinked, suprised his little brother could be so astute. Still desperate to prove his point, to get it into his brother's thick shell that now was NOT the time for dancing and prancing he tried again. "True, but Raph's gone Mikey, we can't feel him around anymore." Leo sighed even harder, wanting so badly to just sink into the floor.

"Well that's not true either, is it?" Mikey's belief was unshakeable, his grin wide, and refusing to budge. "I mean we can still feel him, he's still here ... in his room, in his hammock. In the smell of his dirty bandanna that still stinks of his sweat, in the chunk out of the dojo wall where he cracked the last fit and threw a dumbell there." Mikey chuckled at the thought. You can even still feel him in the scratchy blankets of his hammock that quite frankly stink worse than mine, I don't think he's ever washed them ever, like in the history of mankind ..." Mikey looked at Leo's quirked eye ridge and tried hard to hide the crimson flush to his cheeks. He coughed. "Not that I'd know anything about that, but yeah, you can still feel Raph if you want to."

Leo pondered Mikey's words. From the little turtle's perspective it was true, he could still feel his faraway brother, could still picture him in his mind at will, still feel his love ...

"Ah Mikey, but we can't feel his love anymore, now can we?" The leader retorted, finally glad to have the winning point.

"We can't?" Mikey's face fell and his beautiful blue eyes started to tear. "Well if we can't, then how come I still feel it every day? In all the stuff he's left behind, in all the memories he's left, in all the good times we've had. He tilted his head again, and Leo realised the tears weren't because he'd proved his point.

They were for him.

Don't you feel Raph's love? Mikey whispered quietly. "I know you guys fought a lot, but he always loves you." Blues eyes turned softly wistful. "Maybe even most of all."

The shock of his brother's thought made Leo pull Mikey down, to hold, and cuddle into his lap. Of course he felt Raph's love all around him, of course he could see his face, feel him, his love. The burning realisation stunned him, and made his heart warm. Mikey was right. Mikey had been right all along.

He smiled a small smile, and gently rubbed the top of his brother's head. He thought long and hard on the sea green turtle's words, and the light returned quietly to his clouded onyx eyes. A little bit of Mikey's sunshine pierce his soul.

"So where is he now?" Fearless questioned, happy for once, to be taught by the one he thought unteachable.

Mikey took a warm, long, sturdy finger and touched the tip of it over his eldest brother's heart. He smiled a knowing smile, the eager bounce back in his body, the brightness unwavering in his brilliant blue eyes.

"Not gone." was his answer, as he tilted his head heavenwards, staring off into the distance, staring at the rememberance of a gruff, emerald green turtle's face.

"He's right were he's always been." He sighed softly and smiled.

"He never left."

* * *

**A/N: ** **For a friend, who once told me I was her inspiration ... I'm not sure about that. LOL **

**Just hope it helps.**

**Rant, rave, review ... I'd love to hear what you think. **


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